Updated: Dec 10, 2018
How can someones passions be their struggles?
I strongly dislike talking, so I have been writing my feelings down since I was a young girl songwriting in her room. I decided to add a blog to my website to show my relatable side along with my professional side. I'm human, just like you. Welcome to the struggle!
Nutrition has been my passion since I turned 18, and the "world being at my feet" threw me into a full blown panic attack. Seriously, I developed panic attacks. Looking back on my childhood, I realize how much anxiety has been a part of my life. I am going to write another blog soon about my lifelong journey with anxiety. Stay tuned for that chapter book... lol (funny, but not funny).
Anyways, SO, I pretty much spend all of my downtime talking about food, posting about food, or researching about food. But I don't even actually like food. HA, right? I know that probably sounds crazy to most of you, but I literally eat because I have to and not because I want to. I pretty much eat just enough to stay alive. Eating to me, is a chore.
I've had to set alarms on my phone to go off every three hours to remind myself to eat. I'll admit I've ignored those so many times. There are days that I don't eat until 3pm. I'm literally starving myself because I put so much of the world on my shoulders that I can't even find the time or appetite to eat. Now, don't get me wrong, Olive Garden, pizza rolls, and mac 'n cheese have my heart. You put those in front of me, and they are goners. Obviously, as a conscious health coach, I don't eat those foods very often. With that, brings up my biggest struggle. It's not even the "eating" part that's hard, it's the "stopping what I am doing to go get the food" part. My husband and I have been married now for only five months, but he learned quickly. If I was going to eat that day, he had to put it in front of me and take whatever I was doing at the time away from me.
When I was planning our wedding, I was at my lowest with this. I lost about 12 pounds, every ounce of motivation to go to the gym, and myself. I lost me. (SOOOOO CLICHE, RIGHT?) I don't think I smiled, laughed, or enjoyed life for 9 months. I am not very emotional or expressive anyways, but I was completely blank. I was a shell of myself. I still am some days. My prayer was at its' strongest during wedding planning season because I needed Him and I knew it, but my faith was lacking. I carried so much "life" on my shoulders, and didn't give it to God. Now, that season has passed and the clouds are parting, my prayers have dwindled. I'm on a constant balance beam trying not to fall off my faith.
So why am I writing this? My main passion is to help people. How can I help people if I'm not relatable? Who wants to talk or work with someone who's "Facebook perfect" and has no idea what it's like to wonder if this overcast will last forever? My main goal in writing this, is that social media portrays everyones highlight reel, but I want you to see behind the scenes. The raw footage. I'm blessed by God with this love to help others and this boundless desire to know more and more about the holistic way of life. But I am still human.
I promise to use every step in my journey to help others in theirs. I've been doing this "trial and error" stuff for awhile now, and I'll meet you where you're at. Chances are, I've been there, and if I haven't, I've already worked with someone who has.
Thank you for reading. You are loved and God bless!
1 Timothy 1:5
Certified Health Coach Professional, LSW
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